you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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