The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize