I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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