i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
