So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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