My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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