I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
