doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
