god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
