My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Holy shit dude........stairs
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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