forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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