We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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