Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
