Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
