ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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