I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
