I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
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shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
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Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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