I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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