He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
