he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
