And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
