She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
A bitchslap is in order.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
