hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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