these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
