They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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