Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
