i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
