I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
