Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
