Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
