I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
