super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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