trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
ok first of all what the fuck
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
