Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
