i can't believe i had my finger in that
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
