Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
