I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
