I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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