i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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