so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
