his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
