so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
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It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
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Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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