Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
