He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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