Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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