Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My vagina just recognized that song.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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