"it" just moved
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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