I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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