Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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