fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
