When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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