Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
