What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He shit in the fireplace
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
