2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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