If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
