let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
