The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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