oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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