It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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