So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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