glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
