That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
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Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
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I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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