i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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