party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
