ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
