Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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